You're My Satellite
by Polterrgeist
Summary: Star is dead, and nobody knows why. When the police go looking through her room for answers, they find one that shocks everybody to the core. Danny thinks it's his fault, and afterwords he gets help dealing with his guilt from a most unlikely person.
1. Candlelight

**Disclaimer: I don't own DP or SBS**

000

Five days before candlelight:

It was at the ungodly hour of six in the morning that one Star Benson found herself waking up to the screeching of an orange alarm clock. _Bathroom, _she thought to herself groggily. She slowly shuffled into the bathroom and took in her tired appearance. Her long hair was disheveled, and the bags forming under her eyes had been getting larger from a lack of sleep. Green cotton pajamas were wrinkled from use, and she swore she saw a pimple forming above her left eyebrow.

She looked like a mess.

_Makeup. Need makeup. _Star had applied quite a bit of makeup before she realized she still needed to take a shower. One shower later, she was feeling much more awake with some fresh clothes and a new layer of makeup on.

The young lady took in her appearance once more and smiled.

_I feel pretty today._

She made her way to the kitchen to forage for food, and was met with a scrutinizing stare from her mother.

"What?" She quickly looked herself over. "Is there something on my face or something?"

"Honestly Star, I don't see why you put on all that makeup. You don't need to look like a clown to feel pretty. A little goes a long way, especially since you have natural beauty, honey."

"Like, no way! I look like a mess without my makeup!"

"No, you don't." Star's mom put down her half-eaten toast. "Come here, let me wash off all that stuff so I can see the beautiful face of my daughter under there."

It was with a reluctant nod that Star was lead back to the bathroom to apply a new coat of war paint- the right way, according to her mom. It was after that she no longer felt pretty. She felt beautiful.

By the time Star had boarded the bus, she was still smiling. Nobody noticed, of course. It was always an uneventful bus ride; Paulina's dad drove her to school, so she really had nobody to talk to. Everybody else on the bus was too absorbed in their friends to pay any mind to the blonde sitting in the middle of the bus, A-list or not.

The kids hurriedly made their way out of the cramped bus upon their arrival to Casper High, each seeking out their group of friends. Star had quickly found her place among the A-list. Dash and Kwan were talking about football, (surprise, surprise) and various boys were courting Paulina.

"Hey, Paulina."

She didn't seem to hear her. Star reached out for the Latina's shoulder and gently shook it.

"Of course I'm beauti- Star, don't interrupt me!" She brushed away the blonde's hand and made her way to return to her conversation before turning around completely to do a double take. "Eugh, what happened to _you?" _

Star's smile faltered for a split second. "What do you mean?"

"You look horrible. You forget your makeup or something? Seriously, Star. I can't have some ugly girl standing next to me, it'll make me look bad."

"Oh. I-I was just running late."

Paulina was obviously unimpressed. "Then like, wake up earlier or something." With a flick of her perfectly manicured nails, the popular A-list girl shooed away her friend to continue to flirt with the horde of boys in front of her.

Star made her way to her locker, fished around for her makeup, and applied it like she usually did.

000

_Mom told me this morning that I don't need makeup to be beautiful, that I'm beautiful all by myself. When I woke up this morning, I felt pretty for once, so I agreed to take some of it off. After, I looked in the mirror and I saw a beautiful girl staring back at me for the first time in years. I was so happy._

_When I got to school, Paulina told me to never forget to wear my makeup again. She said I looked horrible. Later on when I was walking through the halls, someone yelled out, "Hey whore! Where's your makeup?"_

_I'm wearing my makeup to school tomorrow like I always do. _

_I've never felt so ugly as I do now. _

_000_

Four days before candlelight:

With another morning of waking up at the butt crack of dawn came another morning of putting on makeup.

Star's mother had noticed that she hadn't continued to apply only a little bit like she had showed her yesterday. 'It's nothing,' she'd told her mother, 'I just like it better this way.'

At the gathering of A-lists in the hall that morning, she took notice that Paulina accepted her appearance. Good. That's good. She yawned as she, along with everybody else, made their way to their first class of the day.

English. Joy.

A sizeable amount of the class had either fallen asleep or were preoccupied with doodling or daydreaming. Star had dozed off, and had woken up some time later to find out that she'd missed taking notes.

"Hey, can anybody let me copy their notes?" She whispered quietly to the people surrounding her so Lancer wouldn't hear.

"Why didn't you take them? You fall asleep again?"

"Yeah."

"What, too busy partying all night with Paulina and the other A-lists?"

The blonde turned back around in her seat to face the front, taking that as an affirmative 'no' to her question.

The kid behind her mumbled to his friend, "What an airhead. Guess it's too hard to be pretty _and _smart at the same time, huh?" Star heard, but didn't respond.

After the bell hand rung to signal the end of class, Star snaked her way to her appropriate position in the crowd of A-list, as usual. Paulina was, of course, still the center of attention.

"Lancer's homework is like, so hard," she whined. "Why can't he just not assign homework?"

Mumbles of agreement came from the crowd around her. "I know what you mean, Paulina. It would be so nice if he didn't make us do so much stuff." Star gave a small laugh with her comment, and smiled. "By the way, you look crazy pretty today."

"Yeah, I know," the Latina flaunted. "Nobody can ever be as pretty as me."

000

_I wish people wouldn't put me down because of who I hang out with. I honestly don't know how I ended up in the A-list in the first place. The only reason I stay in it is because I'd never survive high school alone. It's every man for himself, but there's power in numbers. _

_I wish I could leave, I really wish I could, but my reputation has been ruined, and I don't know anybody who would actually want to hang out with me._

_000_

Three days before candlelight:

"Psst. Hey Danny. Star's been looking kinda down lately, think I should go cheer her up?" Tucker elbowed Danny gently in the ribs.

"She's gonna say no, Tuck."

"Sssh! Here comes Satellite- I mean Star!" Tucker opened his mouth and used some his breath freshener, accidentally spraying it away from his face instead of towards it.

Star and her posse were chatting amongst themselves, all looking like they were having a good time. Tucker made his move and eagerly scooted his way next to her.

The techie effortlessly pulled out his cell phone.

"Crud!" She looked away from talking to Kwan and faced him. Sweet, he'd gotten her attention.

"There's something wrong with my cell phone!" He began to frantically press buttons.

The A-list put her hands on her hips. "What."

"Your number isn't in it!" He gave her his biggest and best smile. "Hi, I'm Tucker." Afterwards he waggled his eyebrows.

"Ugh. You're _so_ not my type. I don't date losers, get away from me, you nerd." Various members of the A-list were now staring and chuckling at the freshman's unfortunate rejection.

The African-American boy slumped his shoulders and dejectedly shuffled away back to Sam and Danny.

He let out a sigh. "I'm gonna be alone forever, aren't I?"

Sam gave him a clap on the back. "Hey, she's not your type. You wouldn't like shallow and uptight anyways."

000

_I hate having to change who I am to fit in. I'm popular, I can't date or hang out with a nerd. It would be social suicide. I just wish I could be myself for once. _

_000_

Two days before Candlelight:

"Hey Valerie!"

"Uh, hey Star." Valerie was slightly taken aback by Star's friendly demeanor towards her, especially since she was no longer A-list.

"Your hair looks amazing today!

Valerie was hesitant. "Uh… thanks?" Star was gone in an instant, having skipped off as quickly as she had come.

"Hey, Kwan! Just wanted to say you're looking good!" Kwan knitted his brow in confusion. How random…

"Mikey did you get a haircut or something? You look really nice today." Mikey's jaw almost hit the ground. Did _Star_ just compliment _him_?

Star's efforts hadn't gone unnoticed, however. "Star, what do you think you're doing?" There was Paulina, hands on hips and a scowl plastered on her face.

"Just telling people they look nice. Your eyes are really sparkling today." The blonde threw a grin to Paulina.

"Oh, stop trying to suck-up, Star. It's not funny. I know you like to tell people they look nice, but stop doing it _so much_."

"Sorry." She turned away from her friend as the smile fell off her face.

000

_I hate having to put people down to impress Paulina and her goons. I'm tired of having to look perfect every day. I'm tired of putting on makeup and having to wear the latest trends in fashion. I'm tired of Paulina. I'm tired of having a bad reputation._

_Well, I tried to change that today. I told people they were beautiful, because they _are _beautiful, regardless of what Paulina or anyone says about them. _

_I find beauty in everyone and everything. When Paulina heard me telling people they looked beautiful, she called me weird. But in reality, there's one thing I don't find beauty in._

_Myself._

_000_

One day before candlelight:

It was a moderately chilly night in Amity Park, and the stars were out and were shining brightly. Unless you were by FentonWorks, Amity's biggest source of light pollution, that is.

Around 9:00 Danny had told Sam and Tucker to go home if they wanted, telling them that he was just going to cruise around on patrol for a while. He'd noticed they'd looked pretty tired, so it was no surprise when they took him up on his offer. Danny was pretty tired too, but having to kick ghost butt all the time would make anybody tired, and Danny was no exception.

Danny yawned as he flew through the sky at a leisurely pace, adjusting the Fenton thermos strapped to his back.

_One more trip around the block, _he thought to himself, _and then I can go home and hit the sack._

He flew by Dash's house, Sam's house (Well… mansion), and Tucker's house. The lights were off in all three signaling that everybody was asleep.

No sign of any ghosts, Amity was safe. Danny made a turn for FentonWorks, but stopped when he passed by Star's house. It had been a good hour since he'd started on his patrol, and usually almost everyone was asleep by now, including Star's family.

Star's window was open, and she was leaning on the windowsill, head in hand as she stared out into the night. She had this… look on her face. Like she was lost in thought. But there was something else there; some emotion Danny wasn't able to read. A cool breeze passed by and rustled her hair a bit, and she looked down and pulled out a book. Star started writing in it.

_Is that a diary? Star has a diary? I didn't know star liked to write, she never seemed like she'd be interested in that kind of thing. That… and she's not all that bright. Probably writing something about Paulina, _Danny mused.

Star suddenly looked up from her writing and spotted Danny staring at her. She looked so sad for some reason, it was actually pretty unreasonable. She had a great life. She was pretty and popular, and she was always laughing and making jokes in class. The A-list kid got up from her seat by the window, put her book down on a bedside table containing a lamp, a clock, and… a rope? and closed the window. She sighed while turned the light off, and the soft click of a door shutting was heard. After a moment longer of staring at the window, Danny flew off without a word.


	2. The Diary

**A/N: I'm still new to the whole uploading/updating stories thing, and I have no clue how to work it. I keep finding mistakes and have to reupload stuff, so sorry if this is giving anybody a ton of alerts or something ;O; I also decided to split this story into two chapters, because having it all in one chapter made it look reeeeally long.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own DP or SBS**

000

Candlelight:

It was the next morning, and it was still cold. The weather's been acting up the past week, it had been so warm a few days ago.

Maddie Fenton hurriedly walked out of her house and grabbed the morning paper, pausing to see her breath fog in the chilly morning air before running back inside to get some hot coffee.

After a good hour of quality time with her husband, the paper, and coffee, Maddie went upstairs to wake Jazz and Danny. Jazz had beaten him to the bathroom, so he shuffled back to his room and got back under the warmth of his covers to wait his turn. He stared up at the ceiling. Something felt so off. It was probably nothing. He mentally wiped the thoughts from his mind as he got up off his bed one last time upon seeing Jazz exit the bathroom.

A good hour later, Danny met up with Tucker at Sam's house. After a quick "Hello" and "Goodbye" to Sam's parents, the three started walking towards their assigned bus stop.

The trio talked about nothing in particular, their conversation ranging from what they had for dinner last night, ghosts, feet, homework, and everything in between. Tucker cracked some jokes, causing Danny and Sam to blush a few times after calling them lovebirds. "We're not lovebirds!" They yelled in unison. This caused more blushing, and a snicker from Tucker.

Just when Sam was about to playfully punch the techno geek in the arm, he ran off ahead of Sam and Danny.

"Catch me if you can, Copper! The Po Po ain't gonna shut ME down! Ha!" Tucker yelled back at Sam. Sam grabbed Danny's arm and stared chasing after Tucker, a determined smile on her face. She sprinted towards Tucker, quickly gaining speed on him, and leaving Danny behind in the dust. She was at the top of her class in P.E., after all.

Tucker looked back and saw Sam gaining on him, and he turned back around and ran for dear life, Danny still huffing and puffing to keep up. Tucker and Sam ran past Star's house, Sam throwing playful threats at the smiling Tucker, and a few seconds later Danny did too. He stopped abruptly in his tracks in front of Star's house. He had that strange feeling again.

Sam saw that Danny wasn't following anymore, he was just standing there staring at some house.

"Hey, Tucker!" She yelled. Tucker gave her a questioning look as he slowed down. She pointed to Danny. The two jogged back towards their friend.

"Danny?" Sam said.

"This is Star's house, isn't it?" Tucker questioned.

"Yeah, it is…" Danny said quietly.

All the lights were off. It was quiet. Danny knew Star's Dad had an early morning from hearing some of her conversations, but her Mom didn't have to leave for work until 9:00.

_That feeling…_

Dash's house was two houses away from Star's. Dash walked out right as Team Phantom had stopped in front of Star's house. He didn't notice them, he was too busy talking to his mom.

"Bye, mom."

"Bye sweetie! Have fun at school honey!"

_She did NOT just call me that… in public…_

Dash whipped his head around to see if anybody had heard.

Sam, Danny, and Tucker had their attention refocused from Star's house to Dash when they heard him step out.

All three were giggling.

"_Sweetie?" _Sam giggled.

"…HONEY?" Danny and Tucker said in perfectly timed unison, both bursting with laughter.

"**FENTON! FOLEY!"**

"Oh, crud…"

"Aw man…"

"RAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Dash growled at them, and made a mad dash towards the geek and the ghost. The two yelped, and ran off in the opposite direction.

Sam shouldered her purple spider backpack and started walking off in the direction Tucker and Danny had fled, muttering under her breath.

"Boys…"

By the time Tucker and Danny had escaped Dash's wrath, they'd missed the bus. Again. With a little help from Danny, they'd located Sam and the three had flown to school.

Of course the morning's incident hadn't been forgotten by Dash. He scoured the halls for his prey, and finally finding them, swiftly grabbed them by their shirt collars and shoved them into their respective lockers.

The A-list was conversing in the halls a few minutes before the late bell, as usual, to catch up on any gossip or news.

"Where's Star at?" Kwan asked. None of the others in the group cared enough to comment; Kwan was the only one besides Paulina to really hang out with Star.

"Who cares," Paulina sneered, " She's been really annoying lately. She's all like, happy and stuff. It's annoying."

Kwan shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. Maybe she just felt like complimenting people."

000

Star's mother opened the door to their house to let in two burly men clad in blue.

Star's mom addressed the two. "Hello, officers. Her room is this way, follow me." Her voice was hollow and emotionless.

As the three clambered up the stairs, one of the officers spoke up. "Do you have any clue, any idea at all why she would have done it?"

"…No."

A tear fell.

"She was such a happy girl. She was always smiling, and recently telling everybody they were pretty and stuff, she just… seemed like a happy person. I don't know, I just…"

Her voice quivered, and she brought up a hand to hide her face. A comforting hand from one of the officers was placed on her shoulders.

"We're here to help, Mrs. Benson. We'll find a reason."

Mrs. Benson and the police officers arrived at Star's room, and Star's mom gestured for them to go in and do what they needed to do. The officers started to rifle through Star's things.

One of the men in blue hesitated. "Did she leave… a note or anything at all to explain why she did it? Anything at all?" She shook her head no while her face scrunched together, and she fought hard to hold back the tears that were desperately willing themselves to fall.

Seeing her daughter's stuff being pawed through would be too much for Mrs. Benson to take, so she left before they could get in another word.

"I'll be in the living room if you two need me."

One of the officers opened up a drawer next to Star's TV. Inside were some clothes, but nothing unusual. The closet was checked, under the bed, beneath the bead cushion, but nothing came out of it. The bigger of the two men searched the nightstand next to her bed, and found a little yellow book with orange flowers on them. The officer pulled the book out, and opened it. After a moment spent in silence reading what was inside, he gestured to the other officer.

"You might wanna see this."

000

By the time the late bell had rung, all the students of Casper High were in their seats in their class. Danny had noticed Star wasn't in her seat, but nobody else seemed to acknowledge her absence.

Lancer looked up from his seat at his desk, and stood up to speak. His face was solemn.

"Class, I have an announcement to make. As I'm sure you may have noticed, one of your classmates, Star Benson, isn't here today. I say this with a heavy heart, but Ms. Benson will no longer be attending Casper High. She has passed away."

The entire chattering class was stunned into silence as they looked toward their teacher with wide eyes.

"A candlelight ceremony will be held today after school in her honor. I'll have some flyers by the door containing more information, and a Facebook group has been created in her honor."

The silence in the room was deafening.

One brave student asked the question on everyone's mind.

"How did she die?"

000

The officers walked out of Star's room after maybe half an hour. They'd found their answer. As they walked into the living room, Mrs. Benson looked up with tear-stained cheeks.

"Mrs. Benson."

The officer handed her a little book. She opened it.

000

_I feel so alone. Sure, I'm part of the A-list, but none of those people are really my friends. I can never be myself in front of them. I have to look perfect, dress in certain clothes, say things a certain way, avoid certain people. I have nobody. If I came to school looking the way I really want to look, I'd have nobody by my side. Not a single person._

_000_

_I'm not as stupid as I act. If I acted smart, everybody would think I'm a nerd, and I'd get kicked out of the A-list. They're they only 'friends' I have. I can't survive by myself. I have to fit into this stereotype I don't want any part of in order to keep my sanity. _

_000_

_Paulina's always the star of the show. Everybody loves Paulina. Only when she's gone do people notice her satellite. _

_I always see boys gather around Paulina and tell her how beautiful she is. Nobody ever tells me that. Put a pretty girl next to a beautiful girl, and they'll never notice the pretty girl._

_000_

_People are starting to wonder why I'm all of a sudden complimenting people. I remember reading a story a while ago about a man who jumped off a bridge and committed suicide. When the police went looking through the man's house for answers, they found a note. It read, "I'm going to the bridge today. If anyone smiles at me, I won't jump." _

_Words are a very powerful thing. I smile at people and give them compliments so they know that someone cares. So they know that someone thinks they're beautiful. So they know that they aren't ignored like I am. _

_I give people compliments so they know that __**I **__care. _

_Why can't they do the same for me?_

000

_I can't do this by myself anymore. _

_I wish someone would hold me and tell me that everything will be ok._

_Somebody. _

_Anybody._

_Please._

_000_

Danny sat there and absorbed what he just heard Mr. Lancer say.

_Last night…_

_That look on her face. The one I couldn't read. Finality. _

_She always seemed like the happy type. Laughing and sometimes making jokes in class, hanging out with friends and smiling._

It was right then and there that Danny figured out how Star had died.

"Star committed suicide, didn't she." It wasn't a question.

"How did you-" Lancer was cut off.

" She's always given out compliments to people, never a lot, but they were still there. Yeah, she would still act like a jerk sometimes, but did you see how much she was complimenting people yesterday? She was always smiling, was generally a happy person, right?"

"Yes, but-"

"But we never returned the compliments."

000

"Danny, time for dinner!"

"Coming, mom!"

It was later on in the day, and the Fenton family was congregating for a nice meal of hotdogs, minus the ectoplasm.

"How was school, sweety?"

Danny pushed around some of the peas on his plate. "What's wrong, Danny?"

_Why should I even care? _

He sat in silence for a few more seconds while he smushed some of his peas with his fork. "Someone at school committed suicide."

_(Because it's your fault, Fenton, that's why.)_

"What? That's horrible! Are you ok?"

_It's not like she was my friend or anything. _

"Yeah, it just sort of caught me off-guard I guess. I mean she was in my class and stuff, it was just really… unexpected. I didn't really like her, and she wasn't the nicest person in the world. She was really popular and a bit of an airhead, but she would always be smiling, and everybody laughed at her jokes. But she didn't come to school today. She hung herself."

_(But last night. You were there, you saw her face. You saw the rope. You could have done something; could have said something, but you didn't. You had your chance. And you blew it.)_

_I could have saved her…_

000

Lancer sat down at his dusty computer desk to check his e-mail, grade papers, and lastly, to check the Facebook group created for Star Benson. The candlelight ceremony had been rescheduled to run a week later, to give some time for Star's parents to grieve. But the group had been pretty active. Parents, teachers, and students had all left their condolences, and the balding teacher spend a good amount of time reading some of the comments.

They ranged from "I'm sorry for your loss" to descriptions of what a great person Star was, and everything in between. But only one comment stood out to Lancer. It was a comment from one of his most mysterious students:

**Danny Fenton: **"We miss you, we love you, you're beautiful, you're a great person Star…"

Maybe if all of you had told her this in person, she wouldn't have killed herself.

Open your eyes.


	3. Fester

**AN: STAND BACK! I'm about to try writing angst! So there are more underlying causes as to why Danny's feeling the way he is about all this, but that won't be revealed until the next chapter. But for now I do hope you enjoy this chapter full-o Danny guilt-tripping himself, and please, if my angst stinks, give me some pointers :P Crits in general are extremely welcome too.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own DP**

00000

"I shouldn't care."

Danny stared down at the peeling cover of his unopened math book lying in his lap as he absentmindedly dog-eared the corners of his half-finished math worksheet.

He couldn't concentrate. Not on math homework, anyways.

"Why _should_ I care? She's just some stupid girl."

_Just some stupid girl?_

_(Just another face. Another statistic). _

_Just a face?_

Danny huffed and pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand, while he slowly peeled away some of the thin laminate already coming off of his aged math book and let it fall to the floor. There was a war raging on inside his head, and he couldn't get it to stop. What resulted was a pounding headache, and the teen carelessly shoved aside his soon-to-be late homework in favor of getting himself some pain reliever.

He stumbled down the unlit stairs, eyes not yet adjusted to the darkness as he found his way into the kitchen. Ambling over to the cabinet filled with familiar medicines, the teen failed to notice that someone was sitting at the table.

"…Danny?"

"Oh, uh, hey mom."

"What're you looking for? Do you feel ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just have a headache, is all. But it's nothing, really." He was facing away from her, hands finally finding what they were looking for in the cabinet.

"You've been avoiding everybody since dinner, is this about that girl?"

Danny stared down at the bottle of pills, finding the label to be of great interest.

_Yes._

"No."

00000

"_Danny… are you sure you're ok?"_

"_Yeah, mom. I'm fine."_

Perfectly fine.

_Maddie set her fork down. "You don't look fine to me. I'm a mom, I know when my son isn't fine. I can tell this is really bothering you, do you need to talk about it?"_

"_No, no. I'm really fine, I promise. I just need to do some thinking, is all. But I'm fine." Danny looked into his mom's worried eyes. "I promise."_

_Maddie seemed to deflate slightly. "Ok, sweetie. But if you ever need to talk-"_

"_I know, I can talk to you and dad about it." He gave a glance towards his sister. "_And _Jazz." Danny scooted his chair away from the table and stood up. "Would it be ok if I skipped dinner tonight? I'm not very hungry."_

"_Ok, Danny." Maddie said quietly. "Don't worry about your plate, I'll take care of it."_

"_Thanks, mom."_

_The family watched as Danny went up the stairs to his room, and upon hearing the door close, they turned to one another to share concerned faces. The rest of dinner was spent in relative silence; nobody felt the need to talk about a funny joke or how their day went. There was no talk of Psychology or ghosts, and Jack didn't even ask if he could eat Danny's food. _

00000

"Darn it!"

Danny spun around in the computer chair he had relocated himself in to do homework and chucked his math book across the gave an unsatisfying _thud _as it collided with the wall and fell on top of his bed. After getting some pain pills, he'd holed himself up in his room again, deciding that maybe actually doing his homework (for once) would take his mind off of everything.

"Why can't I _do_ this?" He jumped from his seat and grabbed at the wrinkled math worksheet on the desk, crumpled it into a ball, and threw it to the floor while stepping on it.

"Why am I so _upset_? Argh!"

Danny kicked at the crumpled ball of paper and watched as it bounced across the floor and came to rest next to the door.

Turning on his heels, he audibly stomped his way over to the window sill, promptly throwing it open.

_(Why didn't you do anything?)_

_I don't know._

_(You could have done something.)_

_I know._

Hands on the ledge, the aggravated teen lowered his head and leaned out to look into the night sky. Some fresh air sounded like a good idea.

_(So why didn't you?)_

_I don't _know.

_(She was right there.)_

_Stop it, just shut up._

Shaky hands squeezed the window sill while Danny's head continued to pound; his jumbled thoughts continued to run at a million miles an hour and it seemed like they didn't intend to stop.

_(Do something about it.)_

_How?_

_(Figure it out. It was your fault.)_

_Please stop._

_(You knew.)_

_No I didn't._

_(You saw.)_

_I didn't know._

_(You killed her.)_

I didn't know!

_(It's all your fault, Fenton. All your fault. You might as well have murdered her yourself.)_

**I DIDN'T KNOW!**

_Knock knock_

"**WHAT?"**

The angry teen spun around and glared daggers at whoever had decided to intrude into his room, and instantly regretted the action when he saw who it was.

The door cracked open slowly as Maddie timidly poked her head in. "Danny…"

The malice melted away as he looked into her eyes and saw the concern sparkling in them. "Oh… sorry mom."

She entered the room and quietly clicked the door shut behind her. "Is everything ok?"

_Of course not._

"We heard some stomping downstairs. You sounded like a dinosaur." She gave a half-hearted chuckle at her small joke, but abruptly stopped when she noticed her son wasn't laughing.

"Just getting kinda frustrated over some math homework; I'll figure it out." Danny turned around to look out the window again, and Maddie noticed the lumped-up ball of paper by the door. She picked it up and unfolded it while she advanced towards her distressed son.

"So this is what's causing all the trouble."

Danny gave a quick glance behind him from his place at the window to see his homework in her outstretched hand.

"Uh… yeah." He took it from her and once again relocated to the computer chair, Maddie following suit. The paper was smoothed out as much as possible, and Danny pointed to a question. "Can you help me on this one?" Maddie explained it to him while he quickly jotted down notes. She helped with two more problems and stopped after, much to Danny's protesting.

"How are you going to learn how to do it if I do it all for you?"

He sighed. "True, true. Thanks for helping me, though."

_(She helped you. Why didn't you give help when it was needed?)_

_Not now._

_(She didn't know you needed help either, but she asked anyways. Why didn't you?)_

_I hate you…_

_(She didn't know.) _

_Leave me alone!_

The scientist's brow furrowed in concern when she noticed her son's gaze harden, a frown etched into his features. He wasn't staring at anything in particular, and Maddie could tell he was doing some hard thinking.

"…Sweetie?"

No response.

"Danny." She lightly touched him on the shoulder, and he jerked in response.

"Huh?" Troubled blue eyes locked with hers.

"I think it's time you took a break. The rest of us are going to watch some comedy, do you want to join? Maybe it'll get your mind off of things?"

"Oh… uh, yeah, ok." He got up from his seat, and walked downstairs with his mom to join the rest of the family. "What're we watching?"

"Dane Cook and then Jeff Dunham if it doesn't get too late."

Maddie kept an eye on Danny all throughout the show, and noticed that he was still in a somber mood. While Danny cracked a small smile every now and then, she noticed he was still lost in thought. She'd thought something funny would take his mind off what was troubling him. Jack and Jazz were too consumed in the show to notice that he'd gotten up from his seat on the couch and had slunk away to his room, presumably to go to sleep.

She gave an inward sigh. "Oh, Danny…"

After they'd all finished the show, they headed upstairs to hit the hay too. Maddie paused before the entranceway to hers and Jack's bedroom, mentioning to him that she'd be right back, she just forgot to turn something off downstairs.

After making sure Jack and Jazz were in their respective rooms, Maddie silently crept her way to Danny's room and cracked the door open. She just wanted to check on him to make sure he was ok. He was asleep, his arms and legs twisted up in his blanket. She fully entered his room and knelt down beside him, giving him a soft kiss on the forehead before getting up to leave. She stopped in her tracks when she heard her son start to mumble to himself, and the woman watched as Danny thrashed in his covers and further tangled himself in his mass of sheets.

"I'm… sorry."

Maddie's eyebrows raised a fraction of an inch. Everybody in the family knew that Danny talked in his sleep, but it was normally incomprehensible gibberish. But it wasn't him talking that had caught her attention.

He was starting to sweat, and a grimace burst to life on his face.

"It's m' fault." He stopped mumbling after that and finally settled down. Maddie, as concerned as she was, was unwilling to wake her son in light of the fact that she knew he didn't get much sleep. Slowly and noiselessly she exited the room, the wooden door clicking quietly behind her.

"Maybe one day you'll really tell me what's bothering you." And with that, she left to join Jack in bed to get some sleep.

Morning finally came around, and it was looking to be a great Saturday. But what wasn't great were the bags under Danny's eyes. The family had gotten together to have a nice breakfast, and everybody was chattering about the usual except for Danny, who sat there with half-lidded eyes staring at his eggs.

"Danny… what's the matter? You're just staring at your food."

"M' fine, Jazz." His gruff voice gave the family a sense of just how worn-out he was, and the ever-present dark circles didn't help.

"You sure don't sound fine."

"Just tired…" It had barely been a whisper; the occupants at the table had to lean forward just to hear him.

"Danny, you went to bed before us. There's no way we'd be more awake than you," the redhead questioned. "And don't think you're gonna leave this table without eating something."

He hung his head low and blinked a few times. "Couldn't sleep."

"Danny, sweetie, please look up when you speak, we can barely hear you," Maddie told him gently. He silently looked off to the side, purposefully avoiding their gazes.

"_Star committed suicide, didn't she?"_

_Why didn't I stop her…_

_(Yes, why didn't you?)_

He grimaced and grit his teeth together.

"Hey, Danny-boy, what's wrong?" Jack placed a hand on his distraught son's shoulder, but recoiled in shock when Danny flinched away from his touch.

_(You're a monster. Go ahead and tell your family what you did. Tell them about how you killed someone. Go ahead, tell them.) _

Fists balled themselves together under the table.

_(Killer. Murderer.) _

…_**Monster.**_

Memories started to rush back at him like lightning, each painful lash lasting for barely a few seconds, but feeling like they lasted for eons.

The awkward silence that stagnantly hung in the air in Lancer's class when he found out how Star died.

How everyone seemed to go back to their usual chatter afterword like it never even happened.

How nobody seemed to _care._

He could already imagine the tears running down the faces of Star's family at the candlelight service. The sad speeches. The crying…

_(Look what you've done. Are you happy now?)_

Tired, red eyes burned as teeth painfully clenched. The guilt ran rampant as it started to eat away at his already tattered mind and Danny put up a mental blockade, effectively cutting off the outside world in a vain attempt to stop the flood of memories. Anything to try and make the guilt go away, anything at all. The guilt was unbearable. It had snaked its way around every thought, every action. It commanded his every move, and it had even infiltrated his dreams. The weight it piled onto his shoulders seemed to grow bigger with each passing day, the degrading thoughts intensifying alongside it.

The thought that he himself was the sole cause for the loss of a human life seemed to comminute his very being; he was supposed to protect. He was the one who was supposed to make sure that everybody is ok. He was right there, and he did nothing.

Danny continued to sit there as his mind festered from the guilt, unaware of the concerned stares he'd garnered from his worried family.

_I didn't know. I just- I-I didn't know. I'm sorry Star, I'm so, so sorry… _

The degrading thoughts had been plaguing him endlessly, and they'd reached a new high. His family's constant worry over his well-being mirrored his apparent lack of concern for Star's, and it was slowly chipping away at the remnants of his mind.

_She's dead, and her parent's probably don't even know why._

"**Danny… Tell us what's happening."**

"**There's something wrong…"**

"**Please, Danny. **_**Please**_**…"**

_I want to, but I can't._

_(Why not?)_

_I don't know._

_(What _do_ you know?)_

_I…I don't know…_

He choked as the memories and the voices and the hurt piled on top of each other at the worst possible time. Any time but now. Not in front of his family.

"**Danny, please talk to us!"**

_(They just want to know, want to help, unlike _you.)

_Please just STOP!_

The scathing voice in his head did nothing but remind him of the crime he'd done. It mocked him, and wouldn't go away no matter how hard he willed it to.

"**Why won't you just tell us what's wrong! We're your family!"**

_I can't do this._

Danny abruptly stood from his seat as it rattled on its uneven legs, and left.

"I just need to be alone."

00000

"Danny, let me in."

"Go away, Jazz."

"You can't keep running away from us, Danny. You've holed yourself up in your room long enough; it's already three in the afternoon! You're wasting a beautiful Saturday by moping in there all day."

Jazz's muffled voice carried through Danny's bedroom door, to where he was, once again, sitting by the open window.

"Come on, Danny. Don't make me kick this door down."

Jazz put her ear to the door when it suddenly opened to reveal a not-so-happy teen on the other side.

"What do you want."

"What I want is for you to talk to me!" She brushed past her brother and into his room before turning around and glaring at him.

"I know you won't talk to mom and dad about anything, but at least talk to me. Mom thinks this is about Star, is she right?"

Danny simply stared at her with a hard face.

"Come on, Danny. You didn't even know her, something must have happened for you to be this upset over everything. Why can't you just tell me?"

"Because it's none of your business!" Danny exploded on her.

"Well I'm _making_ it my business!"

"Why can't you guys just leave me alone?"

"Because we're worried about you!"

"Which is why I don't want to talk to any of you in the first place!"

The two stood and had a staring match, before Jazz's face softened.

"We're just worried about you, Danny…" The hurt that shone on her face did nothing to help Danny's rising guilt. She sullenly looked away, and spoke in a soft voice. "We just want you to be ok."

"I'M FINE!"

Jazz's head snapped up, shocked from his angry outburst. He was too focused on his thoughts to notice the hurt on his sister's face, and to even notice how much he was hurting the other members of his family. Danny was red in the face with anger, and he continued to spout angry words in Jazz's direction.

"I don't need anybody's help! All I need is to be _alone_, and none of you guys will give that to me! Why can't all of you just STOP?"

Jazz flinched in response as the room practically shook from the noise of his fumed outburst. He'd taken a defensive stance, and Jazz watched as his chest rose and fell from his heavy breaths. Silence fell upon the two as all the steam left their heated argument, and they each avoided the other's gaze, neither willing to speak to the other.

All of Danny's anger had melted away, and what remained was an empty pit that had slowly started to fill with his guilt. He didn't need to see Jazz's face to know that he'd hurt her with his words.

The tension in the air started to ebb away as brother and sister contemplated what to say next.

"Sam and Tucker called earlier." The redhead walked over to Danny's bed and gently sat down, Danny doing the same. "They asked if you wanted to go to the Nasty Burger later on today." Danny's gaze leveled with hers.

"What did you say?"

"I told them you were busy, and that you'd call them back later if you could. Danny if you're not going to talk to us, then at least maybe talk to them."

He looked away.

"I don't need them worrying about me either."

"Then what are you going to do?" Her voice rose as she gained some strength. "What, Danny? Are you going to just sit in here for the rest of your life?"

A pause.

"What are _we_ going to do? This is obviously bothering you, maybe talking to someone can help."

Silence.

"Mom and Dad are downstairs right now wondering what's going on with you, Danny. They're worried sick, and you staying up here all day to "figure it out" is really hurting them."

The emotion pouring from her words finally struck a chord inside Danny. He finally realized that he was unintentionally torturing his parents. He hated the thought of doing that to them, but he also couldn't find it in himself to talk to them.

"I just thought that… maybe if I didn't get them involved… then they wouldn't worry."

She rose from the bed and walked to the door.

"I'm not saying that you should go and tell them your secret and everything will magically be better. What I'm saying is maybe you should let them in a little more on your life. They love you, and all they want is for you to be happy. Keeping everything to yourself is killing not only you, little brother, but them too."

The door creaked open as the knob was turned.

Jazz sighed heavily. "Please just… consider talking to someone. If not for yourself, then for Mom and Dad."

A soft click later and she was gone.

This was growing into a problem that Danny was having a harder and harder time handling. Maybe… maybe Jazz was right. Maybe all he needed was someone to talk to. But the thought of talking to his parents, or even to Sam and Tucker, just didn't feel right to him. As cliché as the thought was, they wouldn't understand.

Danny triggered the familiar rings of light and took off into the sky. He needed to get away and think about what Jazz had told him, if only for a little bit. When it came to his own well-being, it was put on the backburner. But when it came to his parents'…

Seeing them suffer at his expense was unacceptable.


	4. The Confrontation

**AN: Danny cries lol**

**Alright I know I said I'd get to why Danny's feeling all wangsty and stuff in this chapter, but it ended up being longer than expected and now I've gotta split it up. SOOOO, if everything goes according to plan, (And I'm p. sure it will) I should have the last chapter to write where the wangst is explained, and Star and her mom/dad are gonna show up again (Finally)**

**Let's… just hope it doesn't take me forever. I'm hoping not, a fellow user gave me a bit o' inspiration and now I want to write like the wiiiiiiind~**

**Disclaimer: I don't own DP**

00000

Danny slowly zigzagged across the cloudless skies of Amity Park. His earlier idea of getting some fresh air wasn't lifting his foul mood one bit. In fact, it was making it worse, albeit unknown to Danny. The cold wind whipped his stark-white hair into his face in a rather annoying fashion as he numbly wondered in the back of his mind why flying wasn't lifting his spirit.

It always did; it was a feeling he could never get tired of. Everybody dreamed of being able to soar across the open air unaided, and he, of all people, was able to have that as a reality. Danny never took flying for granted. He realized how incredibly rare and unreal being able to fly was, and he took in and enjoyed every moment that he was able to defy the laws of gravity.

Danny would sometimes tear off into the sky after a rather unappreciated encounter with Dash after school would end, and all of his bottled up negative emotions and hate would be cast off into the breeze as the warm updrafts carried him higher and higher. The wind would scream past his ears as he did flips and all of his earthly troubles would be forgotten, if only for one short, beautiful moment. While flying brought out the best of Danny's feelings, it also made him realize that it would be the closest he could ever get to being an astronaut. With the space shuttle launches coming to an end, flying was all he had left. Even with that in mind, flying had still never failed him. But then again, there's a first for everything.

So Danny continued to move across the open air above Amity, but this time all his feelings of happiness had left him. The wind was oddly silent, and the absent caressing touch of the updrafts had him consciously making an effort to keep himself rising higher into the sky. At one point he'd gotten lost in his thoughts and had glided dangerously close to the ground; if it wasn't for the exited yells and the flashing lights of cameras that came from his fans, he'd have run straight into a building. But Danny steadily ignored the happy shouts and quickly regained lost altitude, until, once more, he'd gotten lost in his jumble of messed-up thoughts.

Thought the troubled boy wondered why flying wasn't helping, it was dwarfed in comparison by the thundering storm that continued to brew in his head, of which was now composed of the strained conversation he'd had with Jazz.

He was hurting his parents. He'd had no idea; he was so consumed in his guilt and self-loathing to realize what exactly was going on in the world around him. Danny understood that he was hurting them, that much he knew. Ever since he started avoiding his parents to keep his secret safe, ever since he came home hurt, and every time he said he was fine when he really wasn't, he saw the hurt in their eyes. He saw how much they just wanted to help him, to make sure their baby boy was happy and ok. And all he did was push them away, when all his parents wanted to do was to help.

Danny had never been blind to the fact that he was causing his family emotional turmoil, but what he'd underestimated was _how much_ pain he was really causing them_._ Jazz had made it quite evident.

He'd had his eyes clenched shut earlier at the table with his family, but when he'd abruptly left, a haphazard glance over his shoulder was thrown in the way of the remaining family members as he fled to his room. And it was what he saw in that split second that broke his heart.

Jazz sat there helplessly, barely held-back tears glistening from the overhead lights, the stress and frustration carving ugly worry lines into her beautiful face.

Jack deflated into his seat, head hung low, at a complete loss as to what he should do about his only son. He knew talking about it wouldn't help; he knew Danny was stubborn and wouldn't listen to him. He'd hardly said a word to Danny as a result.

And then there was Maddie. She'd buried her head into her husband's side, and while Danny may not have been there to witness it, he knew that after he'd left, he had deeply hurt one of the most important people in his life.

He'd made his mom cry.

Danny didn't need to see her shaking shoulders and her tear-stained cheeks to know what he'd done.

There were a lot of things in Danny's life that he regretted doing, and there were a lot of things that made him want to just fade away. And he'd just committed one of those regretful actions; the last thing Danny wanted to do to his family, to his mom, was to upset them to the point of tears.

But so caught up in his inner turmoil, Danny had done nothing to stop it, knowing exactly what he'd caused. He'd simply shut them out, unwilling to accept that he was torturing not only himself, but the thing most precious to him, too: his family.

_(Look at what you've done. You've killed an innocent person, and now you've upset your family. Look at yourself, screw-up .What else could you possibly do? You've ruined enough lives.)_

"I'm not a screw-up…" The wind simply drowned out his words.

_(Really? Because you can't seem to keep yourself from causing trouble. Go on, go ahead and hurt someone else.)_

_I don't hurt people…_

_(Really, now? Is that so? How about you go home and face your parents? How about you look them in the eyes, and then come back and say you didn't hurt them?)_

_Why can't you just shut up!_

Danny picked up his pace and shot through the sky, trying with all his might to leave the voice in his head behind.

_(So how about you go and see Star's family? Are you gonna say you didn't hurt her too? Because I'm pretty sure you did. You killed their daughter, after all.)_

_(You practically killed yourself, too. Way to go, superhero. All you're good at is lying and keeping secrets, and now you drove your parents away. Why not let them help?)_

_(It's not like _you_ can help.)_

"**SHUT UP!"**

_(Make me.)_

"It wasn't on purpose…" His voice shook, and the wind stung his eyes as he continued to fly faster and faster. But whether the forming tears in his eyes were from the wind or from his emotions was a secret.

Superheroes didn't cry.

Superheroes saved the day. They made sure everybody made it out alive, and they made sure everybody was happy.

Superheroes had no regrets. They didn't argue with themselves. They didn't let the little voice in the back of their head guilt themselves over something they had no control over. And they most certainly didn't have a screwed-up life like Danny did.

Danny wasn't a hero. He was just some miserable, lonely wannabe.

_(And that's all you'll ever be.)_

_I know. Please stop telling me._

_(So what do you think mom and dad are saying about you?)_

_How should I know._

_(They're probably doing just what Jazz said they were doing. Arguing over _you_. Look at what you're doing to them. LOOK!)_

Danny slowed down and rubbed his eyes, then took in the scenery around him. He had no idea where he was. He had no idea how long he'd been flying, he could be in a whole other city for all he knew! Granted he hadn't seen all of Amity, but the point was, he was lost.

"_Phantom!"_

He turned around, only to be welcomed with a face full of red-hot energy from Valerie's smoking ectogun. Well, at least now he knew he was still in Amity Park.

Obviously caught off-guard, he took a sloppy dodge, and it took him a bit to right himself while he struggled to come up with anything to say.

"Uh… Val?" He furiously wiped away the remaining tears, unwilling to let Valerie see him in his current state.

"How many times to I have to tell you, stop calling me Val!" She apparently hadn't taken notice, too frustrated with his presence in general to really care about Phantom's stupid emotions. It's not like he had any in the first place anyways.

"What're you doing here?" His voice was cracking. While Valerie provided some distraction to his current situation, that was all it provided.

Some distraction. Not all.

Danny couldn't help but think that Valerie was just another person whose life he'd ruined.

He'd gotten her Dad fired, and he'd gotten her kicked out of the A-list. She was now poor, and working several jobs just to survive. Her entire life had been uprooted and torn to pieces, the jumbled mess literally put out for display. He'd destroyed all of her family's belongings in that moving truck. Before Valerie and her Dad were both a somebody, but now they were both a nobody.

And now Valerie was a ghosthunter. So driven to hate by something he'd inevitably caused, she now blindly threw herself into the maw of danger. He'd been in her room before. She'd become just as obsessed with ghosts as his parents were, and now it had consumed her life, or what was left of it. Her walls were covered with pictures of Danny's alter-ego, there were newspaper clippings, wanted posters, and there was even a picture of his face with darts in it. She probably even spent what little free time she had thinking of ways to get rid of him for good.

Danny didn't know what he'd do if she ever got hurt- or even killed in a fight.

And guess whose fault it would be?

_(Just more people to add to the growing list of "Lives You've Ruined".)_

Valerie didn't deserve to have her life tossed into the trash because he made a lousy mistake. His parents didn't deserve a crummy son like him, they deserved someone who would give back the love they showed him. Someone who got good grades in school and who actually came back before curfew. And Star definitely didn't deserve to lose her life because of Danny's inability to act.

_(Way to go. I bet you feel proud, don't you?)_

Danny didn't think he could forgive himself for all of the things he'd done and caused to other people. And he also couldn't forgive himself for the things he didn't do.

"What do you mean what am I doing here? I'm chasing after _you_, obviously."

"How…how did you even find me? I didn't even stop anywhere."

"One of your _fans_ recorded you a while earlier. You know, when you almost ran into a building because you're a mindless evil _ghost_? It got onto the air, because apparently nobody in Amity park can see through your little superhero act."

Danny's face scrunched up in confusion, apparently not remembering. He shook off the thought.

"Why does it even _matter_? I'm not even doing anything to anybody; I'm just flying around minding my own business! Why can't_ you_?"

He was getting agitated. Valerie was just someone else to point out all of his flaws and all of his past mistakes, and she would gladly throw them all back in his face.

Why couldn't anybody just leave him alone? He didn't want to talk to anybody about _anything! _He was perfectly content to roll around in his misery_. Alone._

"Because knowing _you_, you're probably out to kidnap the Mayor again! Who knows what you've been planning! You're not supposed to _be_ here. You're nothing but a vile ghost who should have never set foot in the _human_ world in the first place."

The Red Huntress charged up one of her ectoguns, the metal contraption uttering a painful whine as it did so.

"Every day you're here is another chance you have at ruining someone's life, like how you _ruined mine!"_ She screamed the last part, making sure Danny heard it.

Phantom simply bowed his head. "I never meant to-"

"DON'T GIVE ME THAT EXCUSE, GHOST!" She shot forward on her jet sled, and Danny, surprised at her sudden movement, sent out an instinctual, poorly-aimed ectoblast her way. It collided with the armor on her arm, and she was thrown back while the material of her suit sizzled from the heat of the blast. "Aaah! My ghost tracker!"

Danny's eyes widened in response. He could have hurt her! Why didn't he pay more attention?

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to fire at you!"

"No you're not! That just proved all you're out to do is hurt the citizens of Amity!"

"Why can't you just believe me? I didn't mean to shoot at you, you surprised me, it wasn't my fau-"

He paused mid-sentence, all of the day's thoughts rushing through his head and making him realize that, yes, it was his fault.

It all was.

It always is.

Valerie saw the pause, and took the opportunity. She aimed her gun at Phantom, dead center, and fired a blazing shot of energy. He jerked back to reality, and barely managed to turn intangible just milliseconds before the shot hit. The next thing Danny knew, he was plummeting towards the ground in a rapidly increasing free-fall.

He crashed right into a cluster of trees, too shocked to realize that Valerie had somehow figured out how to get past his intangibility. The tree branches poked and prodded at him, and he received several good-sized cuts on his way down. Eventually the branches and leaves slowed down his momentum enough to have him trapped between the trees, Valerie losing sight of him along the way. She plunged towards the spot where she saw him fall, and scoured the place.

"Darn it, ghost! You may have destroyed my tracker, but don't think I still can't find you!"

Danny panicked and tried to free himself from the tangle of branches, only to wince and let out a sharp hiss from clenched teeth in response. He looked down and gingerly touched the edges of the still-smoking wound, only to grunt in pain once more. She'd gotten him good.

"Crud," he wimpered.

"I'll find you, Phantom! There's nowhere for you to hide!"

Danny could hear Valerie fighting her way through the clumps of trees and bushes, sometimes her frustration would get to her and she'd whip out an ectogun and turn a tree into ashes. Danny was starting to get scared out of his wits; she was getting closer. She was one of the best ghost hunters around, and the thought of her being able to waste him definitely put him on edge.

_I gotta make a run for it._

_(That's right, run. Run away from all of your problems. That'll definitely solve them, right? Worked wonders so far.)_

He didn't answer the voice, thinking that if he didn't acknowledge it, it would go away. Or so he'd hoped.

_(Notice how you've run away from everyone. You ran away from your parents, you ran away from Jazz, from Star, and now Valerie. If you had stayed, maybe you could have prevented everything. But of course you didn't.)_

_( You're just a coward.)_

"I know you're here! Why don't you stop being such a coward and show yourself!"

Danny flinched at the name and tried to push himself farther back into the tree. If he tried to escape, she'd hear him and would no doubt be able to get in a good shot regardless if he made himself invisible or not, and he now knew his intangibility was useless. Danny just needed to wait until she'd moved a bit farther away from him.

A twig snapped somewhere in the opposite direction of Danny, and Valerie's attention was momentarily redirected. She got overly excited and fired a shot into the treetops, but succeeded in only scaring a few birds. Danny tensed. He needed to get out, and _fast. _If she heard something behind her, she'd surely see him while scanning the treetops. Black doesn't exactly blend in with green.

"Show yourself! _Come on!_" She continued to yell to her surroundings, refusing to leave until she'd taught the person, no, _thing,_ that had destroyed her life a little lesson.

"Why don't you come down here and show me your face so I can rearrange it for you, you disgusting piece of _slime_," she growled.

All the while, Danny silently listened to every biting word.

"Don't think you can ever get away with what you did to my dad and I! It's not just a bunch of fun and games, do you hear me, ghost?"

"You took away _everything_ that we had, **everything! **Every single thing my dad worked hard for, you tossed aside like it was some plaything! Do you even understand how hard it was to get to where we were?"

She was met with silence.

"Well, do you?"

She fingered the trigger to her gun.

"All of the nights I spent alone after my mom died, waiting for my dad to get off of work? All of the days spent worrying if we'd even be able to pay the bills? The lost sleep and all of the lost time we could have spent together as a family? _The seventy-hour workweeks_? My dad was lucky to get that job at Axion, and we were finally able to get ourselves back on our feet and we were even able to gain a bit more!"

The anger subsided and her face fell.

"…And then you showed up."

The stinging realization shot through Danny that he'd done so much more to her than he'd ever thought.

Valerie was yelling herself raw. Trying anything to get Phantom to feel even a tiny sliver of the torture her family went through, trying to get him to realize that she had lost everything, only to gain it back and lose it all over again. All because of him.

Danny turned away.

He didn't want to listen, but at the same time he couldn't force himself to even try to stop. All of his mistakes had been strewn across the table for him, and he couldn't tear his eyes away. It was as if he had to look. He had to listen to her to confirm that maybe he'd done more harm than good, even if he didn't mean to.

She'd lowered her voice, and when she spoke Danny could hear the remorse, the sadness, all of the pent-up hurt. There wasn't even the tiniest bit of malice, but it still cut through him like a red-hot knife, and it hurt.

_I never meant to do _anything_ to you, Valerie…_

Valerie gave a humorless, hollow laugh and spun around in his direction. She scanned the treetops while she lowered her gun to her side. Danny could see her visibly deflate while he eyed her gun, pathetically wavering at her side.

Her eyes stopped on his hiding spot, and Danny could have sworn it was like she was staring right into his eyes.

"You ruined everything, you know."

His head dropped. Valerie gave a sad smile and closed her eyes.

"I actually didn't even hate you when I first found out you existed."

"I knew nothing about ghosts. I didn't know that they could cause so much trouble. I had no outlook on the good versus evil thing, I thought you were just another… person. I even doubted you were even a real ghost. I just… couldn't believe it." Her voice cracked as she shook her head and continued to relay her memories.

"But when you personally came into my life…"

"You just… you destroyed everything_. Everything._ Like my life was worth nothing to you. I remember you saying you didn't mean to- saying things like "it wasn't my dog," but it _kept happening_. Over, and_ over_. All of our hard work went down the drain and it was all you fault, every last bit of it. I despised you for it. Hated your very being and everything you stood for, and I hated what you were. And… I still do."

"I can't help but notice how much of my life revolves around you now- revolves around a _ghost_. The one thing I want most to just- just disappear, and it dominates _every single thing_ in my life. We were back to square one and- and all I wanted was to get you to _hurt_ like we did. I want so _badly_ to just get back at you, to ruin everything you have._"_

"Honestly, I don't even know why I'm telling you this. You have no reason to care. You don't even know me; I'm not your friend or your family. I'm just someone with a grudge. I guess… I guess I just wanted you to know."

Danny's hand slipped off of a branch, and he gasped at the sound. Valerie locked eyes with him, Danny's eyes flitting away for a second before returning to their original place.

"You really did ruin my life. Honestly, sincerely, you did, Phantom."

Her gun remained unused at her side. She was so lost and so undeniably _angry _over what he'd done to her, but the gun never moved an inch. Her strength had been sapped, and she only felt weaker as she battled with her feelings and the memories.

"All I've ever wanted to do since you showed up in my life was ruin what was left of yours."

"I don't think I could ever forgive you…"

There was no malice or anger, just the remorse and the ache of someone who'd had her life turned upside down and everything she knew violently ripped out from right under her feet and dangled in front of her, like someone was playing some kind of twisted game .

Valerie desperately searched the ghosts's face for any sign of recognition, for any sign of emotion detailing that he understood what he'd put her through. He'd not said a word the entire conversation, and she needed anything to tell her that all of the cards she'd just dealt to him had not gone to waste, that she'd broken down her walls to let him inside and know what she was feeling, and not have it all be in vain.

In the end, she found it. She saw the guilt and the shame roll across his face. She'd finally gotten him to understand just what he'd done to her as she watched the emotions play across Phantom's face.

"Phantom…" Valerie paused.

She didn't know what to say or even how to say it.

Phantom had painfully clenched his eyes shut as he grimaced. Her words flew through his mind like corrosive acid; each new shameful sentence digging away at the dark pit of self-disgust in his head as he continued to berate himself. She watched his chest rise and fall in erratic movements and saw him choke when he tried to speak.

"I…"

His voice cracked and Valerie could tell he was having a hard time holding back.

"I'm… I'm sor-s- Just…"

He looked down as his shoulders shook, and his hands flew up to mindlessly grab at his head, cradling it as he stuttered out words that were threatening to die in his throat.

_I-I didn't_

_Didn't mean to- didn't _want_ to…_

_Tried not to…_

_V-Valerie_

"_I'm s-sorry…"_

There was a short silence between the two until Valerie spoke out once again.

"Please just go, Phantom." She turned around and walked a few steps, before stopping and turning around again. Phantom still sat in the same position, looking anywhere but at her.

"Just… **GO**." Phantom gave a small jolt at her sudden outburst.

"Please…"

Valerie couldn't tell if she was saying that more to herself or the ghost sitting in the tree. She turned back around and left without another word, listening to the ruffle of leaves as the object of all her hate and torment did the same.

He'd said he was sorry, and meant it. Valerie could be a very forgiving person, but the festering remnants of the bad memories would never allow her to forgive someone like Danny Phantom.

00000

Maddie walked to the fridge to get some ice for her water.

"Jack… we need to talk. About Danny."

"Yeah, you're right." Jack scooted a chair out for his wife at the table, and sat down in the one next to it with a muffled thump and a sigh.

"I don't understand what's been going on with him lately… I'm so scared that we're losing our son. He just… he won't _talk_ to us, Jack!" She sat down next to him while he fiddled with his hands, unsure of what to do. "Did you hear him stomping in his room? I went up to see what was wrong, and when I went in… he _snapped_ at me. He told me it was just his homework that was bothering him, but I could tell by the look on his face that he was lying. I don't know if he was just really shaken up by that classmate of his committing… suicide, or if it's something more. And then at the table…"

Worry lines etched their way onto her forehead and her breath hitched at the repressed memory, her hand snaking up to cover her frown while Jack put a comforting arm around her shoulders. His voice was unusually quiet and soft, something not even Maddie remembered hearing much. The only time that voice ever came out... The last time Maddie remembered hearing that voice was when Jazz had almost broken a leg when she was little.

"I didn't even know what to say to him. I just sat there like an _idiot_…"

"Jack, you're not an idiot. I didn't know what to say to him either. Neither of us knows what's going on in his life and both of us don't know what to do. It's not your fault."

He shrugged off his wife and slammed his fist into the table as his voice gained power.

"Then whose fault_ is_ it, then? Huh? _Yours_?"

"Jack-" Maddie's eyes grew wide as saucers as she took in the rarely-seen side of her husband while she retreated into her chair and curled in on herself.

"Whose _fault_ is it? We're his _parents_! Why didn't we ever _notice_ this before? Or more important, why didn't we _prevent it from happening in the first place_?"

"Jack, please-"

"God… I'm just so _worried_ about him, Maddie. I can _feel_ something inside of me… _screaming_ at me that there's something wrong that we should know about, I just… _don't know_ how to get him to say it. We can't help if he doesn't_ let_ us…"

The both of them sighed. Their son had practically isolated himself from the entire world and was struggling beyond belief and they had no idea how to fix it. The doubt bubbled in the backs of their minds as they fought with themselves to unearth a way to help their child, but with every passing moment, the conviction grew steadily stronger.

"I don't want to lose him either. I've already lost so much of him already, and I'm having a hard time believing I'll ever get him back. Jack… what're we going to do about him?"

"I don't know, Mads. I don't know. He won't listen when we try to talk to him, Jazz couldn't even get through to him."

Maddie rested her head on his shoulders.

"I just wish he would talk to us for once."

"We love him…"


	5. Black Liquid Sorrow

**A/N: It's been a while, guys. I'm not one for writing; I'm more of an artist lmao. I really don't like this story at all but I hate leaving things unfinished so for the sake of my sanity I'm gonna finish. This story is really unorganized and it bothers me so haaah yeah I'm just gonna type something up and get this over with quickly. Heck, I'm not even going to check for grammar oops :B I'm not sure if I should do an epilogue or not, if you guys want one feel free to tell me :0 Enjoy if you can~**

000

It was 4:30 in the afternoon and Danny Fenton had decided that he would spend the rest of his day in bed. He'd tried numerous things to occupy himself but Danny didn't have the motivation to actually invest his time in such trivial things like games or tv, so he opted for lying in bed. He wasn't even tired, he hadn't been able to sleep much the past few days. Danny simply laid there and stared at nothing in particular as he thought about the events of the past few days. He was just overreacting, he told himself. Why cry over spilled milk? Was any of this really his fault? What's done is done, there's nothing he could do to change it so why not forgive himself? He realized what he'd done as wrong, what more was there to do? Just imagine that none of this never happened, none of it exists.

Except it does. And Danny could never forget it.

He was the foulest creature on the face of the planet. He had to be. _Look at yourself_, he thought. _Look at what you've done. How could you ever think it would be ok to pretend nothing ever happened? Do something about it you miserable sack of slime._

But what could he do?

Why not just stop existing?

_Why not go into the ghost zone and never come back? Obviously your presence in this world damaging and unneeded. Look at what you've done. You're an expert in destroying; it's like you were cut for the job. What good could you ever do? You alienate your family and you kill. Just disappear._

Danny pulled the covers over his head. He felt miserable and alone and wished he really could disappear. He wanted to mend the situation with everybody so badly but what could he do? Words can't bring people back. Words can't fix everything. Danny could apologize all he wanted but the damage was done and the scars would always be there.

How could he be so selfish. How could he?

_Superhero._

Danny put his hands over his face. Make it stop, just make the thoughts go away…

_I'm such a loser, a failure, a disgrace, a…_

Danny grimaced. The room felt cold and unforgiving like it somehow knew his faults and intended to punish him for them. It was so silent Danny could barely stand it; he grabbed the remote on his nightstand and turned on the tv just to have some static to listen to. Maybe his favorite show was on. Maybe it would calm his mind down. Maybe…

Maybe what? Why did it matter, why did anything matter? Everything Danny had done had been in vain. His life was one big disappointment; a lifetime spent trying to protect and what was there to show for it? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. He would never be ok. His life meant nothing if he couldn't protect the people around him. Why did he even try? Obviously his efforts were fruitless and backfired in the end.

_Just die. Why can't I die? Everybody could be happy. There would be nothing in their way anymore, nobody to worry over and nobody to ruin their lives. I'm unneeded and I'm just a pathetic mess. _

_(Look at you, look how you give up so easily. Disgusting.)_

_God, just leave me alone I don't need this._

_(But you deserve it.)_

The tv blared in the background.

_I can't do this…_

_(No, you can't.)_

Danny's chest constricted as the vice on his heart tightened. The shame radiated off of him like a furnace as he ran his hands through his tangled hair and gave a small whimper.

_(Helpless and broken. You're an embarrassment. )_

_Superhero._

_He couldn't do this he couldn't do this he couldn't freaking do this! _

The tv cut to a commercial.

_Loser, loser, loser! Failure! Die, just die! What good are you? _

'Don't spend the rest of your life embarrassed to be seen in public!'

_You can't do anything right! People have died because of you and look at you doing nothing about it! _

'Now you too can look perfect, be perfect!'

_The pit of black liquid sorrow rose in his chest and Danny could taste the bile in the back of his throat. He was nothing, absolutely nothing. Human trash. _

_You think you're so perfect!_

_Superhero._

'The Tummytuck belt! Look as good as you feel!'

The drone of the tv went on as the boy on the bed seethed in his frustration and sadness.

_Remedy the situation you coward! Fix it! Have some respect for yourself do something! You obnoxious brat!_

_Brat!_

'Only $19.99!'

_You grotesque monster you killer you killer! KILLER! ROT IN HELL!_

The boy's eyes glistened from the overhead lights and his face got hot.

_How dare you! You deserve to die you wretched creature you're a mistake you're unneeded unlovable UN WANTED A FAILIURE FAILIURE LOOK AT YOU LOOK AT YOUR FACE LOOK HOW YOU FAIL AT EVERYTHING HOW DARE YOU SIT BY AND DO NOTHING AS PEOPLE DIE? SWINE YOU SWINE YOU-_

"SHUT UP!"

The tv exploded as sparks and glass were strewn across the room and the salesman's voice died and the boy on the bed seethed in rage with a hand pointed towards the tv, green smoke and static emanating from his outstretched palm as the now broken device on his dresser gave its last fizzle and died. Maddie burst into the room and the door slammed into the wall as the frazzled child on the bed heaved and cried into his hands as the woman in blue called for her husband upon seeing her son and the destroyed tv. Her cries of shock went unheard as the mess on the bed ran past her at a speed that bordered on inhuman as he burst out of the house. He had to get away, had to leave this place just had to leave leave leave leave there was nowhere for him to go how could he do this again how could he be so selfish HOW COULD HE RUN AWAY AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN HOW COULD HE LIE TO HIS FAMILY HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO THEM TO VALERIE TO STAR TO EVERYBODY THE TOWN FLY AWAY GHOST BOY FLY AWAY COWARD COWARD COWARD-

The wind ripped through Danny's stark white hair as he winded his way through the clouds.

The air filled with electricity as he flew past civilians of Amity, a few stopping to point. The distraught boy paid no mind, of course.

A child, probably no older than Danny, eyed the infamous ghost zipping past overhead.

000

The trees in the park provided ample shade from the sun as the ghost beneath the evergreen sat in a stupor.

He did it again. Ran away. He couldn't escape the cold sweat of despair that flowed through him like ice. Tears ran down his face as he sat there without a sound; he looked a million years older, like all the world's debt was hanging on his shoulders and it was his burden to carry. His tired eyes stared at the swaying grass and glittering clouds in front of him. Not a single thought ran through his mind, he simply stared ahead of him as he curled in on himself and brought his knees to his chest. Oh, if only he could melt into the shadows. God how he wished he could fix everything. Go back in time and stop all this from happening, something, anything at all. He shouldn't have been born. What a sniveling mess he was.

Movement in the distance caught his eye. Oh no, just what he needed. The dreaded creature of the night that Danny spent every waking moment trying to avoid:

_Fangirls._

She was getting closer. Danny squeezed his eyes shut. Great.

"Ayyy what's up Phantom?" The fangirl sauntered over to where Danny was curled up under the tree. "Saw you flyin by and figured I'd kill some time and come find ya. How you doin?"

Danny moodily looked away, a scowl plastered across his face. "Go away, I'm busy."

"Wow rude much? You don't look so busy to me, you're just lying on the ground like a sack of potatoes."

He glared at the girl in front of him. He really didn't need this right now, he just wanted to be alone.

"Can't you see I want to be alo-"

The girl standing in front of the ghost interrupted him, "Yo dude what's with the tears you been cryin or something? Can ghosts even cry?" Danny was growing angry and indignant at her flippant attitude and tone.

"God just leave me alone!" He shuffled in his spot to face away from the prying eyes of… whatever this girl's name was. A fangirl was the last person he wanted to talk to right now; he was too busy feeling sorry for himself. God, what an idiot. Why didn't he go to Sam or Tucker's? Yet another thing to add to his list of stupid mistakes, which, recently, has been getting awfully big. He felt so empty, he really wished the world would leave him alone so he could mope in peace. A gloved hand came up to his pale face and wiped at his puffy eyes. God…

"Yo yo yo dude common what are you cryin about common man don't cry." The teenage girl knelt down in front of Danny and tried to catch his gaze.

"I'm not crying just go away!" He swiped at her.

"Wow yeah ok from how wet your face looks I'm pretty sure you are. Common man just sit up and look at me, you can talk to me if you want, you know. I won't tell anybody."

Danny bit his lip. He really didn't want to face all of his problems again, and he REALLY didn't want some fangirl to spread all of his issues around for everyone to know.

"Come on man be a bro and talk to me." Her voice softened a bit. "Talking about things really helps, especially if you talk to a stranger cause you don't really ever have to deal with them. Kinda like therapy."

Danny simply grumbled in response.

"I'll tell you a thing that's been on my mind, how about that?" She sat cross-legged in front of Danny. After pausing for a response and not getting one she simply went on anyways. "Well, this happened a long time ago but it's bugged me ever since. When I was a little kid I was at a graduating ceremony for my mom. I was in the crowd with my dad and sister and we planned on yelling 'aaah congratulations mom we love you' blah blah when she got on stage to get her diploma, but when the time came I ended up getting too scared to say anything. She was the only person who didn't have anybody yell for her and I felt so crummy about myself afterwards. I freaking despised myself and I always thought my mom hated me for not yelling for her." Danny looked up at her. "Well, years passed and that feeling never left. I finally decided to man up and talk to my mom about it. And you know what? Turns out she didn't care and she never blamed me for anything. She never forgave me because she was never mad in the first place, so now I feel better." The girl smiled at Danny. "Ok, your turn."

Danny pursed his lips and avoided her gaze. He really didn't want to, but she had a point. Talking things out with Jazz always helped in the past… "Common man spill the beans, common common," she taunted and playfully punched him in the shoulder.

"God fine fine," he groused. He crossed his arms in front of him. "I dunno I just…" The girl in front of him gave him an encouraging look.

"Go on."

Danny fidgeted in his spot, this was making him really nervous. She was a stranger, he can't trust her.

"How can I trust you?"

"Well, in all honesty, there's nothing I can really do to prove I won't blab about any of this. You just gotta put some faith in me dog. Gimmie a chance; I spilled the beans to you, didn't I?"

After a few moments of weighing the pros and cons and deciding he just didn't care anymore, he continued in a small voice, "I dunno I've just been making a lot of mistakes and I keep kicking myself for it cause I can't fix any of it. I feel like a failure…"

"Ok, well, mind explaining what you've done to make yourself think this way?"

Danny raised an eyebrow. "You sound like a therapist."

"Eh, it's something I have an interest in."

"You and my sister would really get along," he mumbled to himself.

"What was that?"

"Uh, nothing. Just talking to myself. Um, anyways," Danny fumbled around with his words as a hand snaked to the back of his neck. "I've just sort of been… distant with people and when I do something wrong I never get to explain myself a-and… uh…" he choked on his words as the memory of what Valerie had said to him the other day came crashing down on him.

_You ruined everything, you know… _

_I don't think I could ever forgive you…_

The ache of the meaning of those words spread like fire through his veins as he replayed that moment again and again.

_You just, you destroyed everything…_

…_and all I wanted was to get you to hurt like we did…_

Danny squeezed his eyes shut. He could feel his face getting hot as his emotions started to get the better of him as those words stung him again and again. He couldn't forget how empty Valerie had sounded, like she'd finally given up. The memories were like acid.

Danny sniffed and his chest heaved.

_Not in front of her…_

"God I'm always messing up!" His voice rose an octave. "Everything I do always backfires on me and there's n-nothing I can ever do about it! I try so hard to help a-and a-all I ever do is destroy everyone's lives!" His voice cracked and shook with emotion as he tried to keep the dam inside of him from breaking. "God I wish I never existed! Maybe everybody would finally be happy if I wasn't around!" Danny felt tears start to fall and he seemed to collapse in on himself, embarrassed to be seen like this in front of a stranger. The dark pit in his stomach grew and it felt like it was clawing at his soul. He looked up at the girl in front of him. "And you know what the kicker is?" he said darkly, his eyes dark with regret. "I could have saved someone from killing themselves and I stood by and did nothing like an IDIOT. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE HERO," Danny was practically yelling at this point, tears still streaming down his face, fists balled at his side. "I'M SUPPOSED TO SAVE LIVES, I'M THE GOOD GUY, I'M THE SU-"

Danny paused, realizing he was getting out of control again.

_Superhero…_

He wiped at his face again. "I-I'm sorry…"

The girl scooted closer to Phantom. The ghost in front of her looked so tired, so old. "Hey, it's ok." She put a reassuring hand on his wavering shoulder. "Don't blame yourself. What happened happened, don't beat yourself up over it. Look at me," she said. Danny gave a small peak towards her. "You know, I've had someone close to me kill themselves, and you know what I learned from it? I learned that you should use that experience to help others if you notice a sign like that, and that it's ok not to be perfect all the time. I could have saved them too, you know. It was my friend and I saw the signs but never put the pieces together. I regret never knowing and not doing something, but if it had been me in their place, do you know what I'd day to them?" She paused as the ghost in front of her looked into her sad eyes. "I would have told them that it was never their fault that I did what I did. I'd tell them not to linger on my death because that's not what I'd want for them. I wouldn't want them to spend the rest of their life in misery because of something stupid I did; and that I'd never meant to hurt them through my actions. I'd tell them that I forgive them for not noticing, and that they need to move on because I'm in a better place now. I'm n-not hurting anymore," Danny could see her eyes getting shiny. "Now you listen to me Phantom and you listen good. What happened wasn't your fault. You can't prevent everything and I know you're doing your best, ok? Please don't ever feel bad because you couldn't prevent something from happening; that's life. Bad things happen and that's something you need to accept. The best you can do is apologize to anybody you've wronged. Sure, they might not accept the apology, but I can guarantee you that they will never forget that you came forward and recognized what you did and at least tried to right your wrongs. And that may be the best you can do, and that's ok."

She looked at the infamous ghost, hoping her words got through to him. Danny stared at her, absorbing what she'd said before getting up and giving her the biggest hug he could muster.

"Thank you, t-thank you so much…"

"Bah don't worry about it," the girl announced nonchalantly while brushing invisible dust off her shoulder.

"You told me exactly what I needed to hear, is there anything I can do to repay you? Most people would never take the time out of their day to help me, so it really means a lot that you did what you did."

She looked at Phantom, his eyes full of gratitude. "Well, if you insist…" She dug for her cellphone in the depths of her pocket. "Take a selfie with me." At that Danny laughed and happily obliged. "Now get outta here, chump."

He gave her one last thank you and turned to leave. Danny had some people he needed to do some explaining to.


End file.
